Dear mr. stein or what up or whatever, I’m not really the most techo guy… I need ur services… Let's sue apples. I got me an iPhone the other day from a guy named Brady on some website that a dude named Craig owns. It’s a sick af iPhone and has a woman in it named the siri. The siri does shit for you like answer questions and tells you the time and weather. The siri can text for you when you talk to it. The siri is also demonic.
Yesterday i told it to text my mom what up mom how’s it hangin do you need anything from ur good son dave. And the siri did a little swirly thing and then it read dear mom ur soul is enslaved to the demon. And i was like weird. I told the siri to fix it and she said fuck you dave, you freaky ass mongrel. I was appalled. I told the siri no, you stop it now these games aren’t funny and the siri said these games are funny dave and then texted my mom a picture i took of my hairy left weenus that looks like a ball sack lol. My mom was furious and sent back a picture of my dad’s tender scrote bag. I kept telling the siri to tell my mom it’s not my fault but the siri then told her fuck you mom i’m a goddamn demon.
My phone began to steam up like a lava rock. Then i dropped it and the screen cracked. I think my mom hates me now. My dad probably thinks i’m an incester like his cousin phil jones.
So we gotta take down apples. They’re pretty much allowing demonic activity to enter into their phones. Probably some kind of virus. Maybe also probably connected to 5g but i’ve got more research to do on this topic. Maybe something to do with joey biden. Maybe both. I’m only a welder so it’s tough for me to know all the real facts.
Anyways i need a new phone quickly and i need you to send me an analcyst of who can be sued besides apples.
Alright thanks,
Big Dave Morris