Dear Mister Stein,
You may have seen on the good media (hopefully Newsmax, OAN) our great crusade Jan. 6, 2021. It was on that day the most patriotic men and women congregated on the lawn of the UNITED STATES CAPITEL AND DEMONSTRATED OUR PROUD AMERICAN BLOOD!
WE EFFECTIVELY STOPPED THE STEAL BUT THE LIBERAL MEDIA DID IT AGAIN. They stole our freedom.
But today I write you because I was injured w/ my fellow patriot, Shawn Rabalais. Yes, we are two of the fallen patriots and need to sue Nancy Pelosi.
Shawn and me go back a long time to high school. He is a decent man and a welder. I myself am an influencer (90k honest patriots follow me) under the IG name @GoodAmericanHeroe911.
I should tell you we’re good patriots. Not Proud Boy patriots, but very proud and male. We are with a group called Gracious Patriot Iron.
We have multiple missions. Our proudest missions are to instill in President Trump great courage and fortitude to fight the pedophiles, instill the Sparce Force and of course kill Nancy Pelosi.
When Pres Trump called upon his allied patriots of the USA to Stop the Steal in Washington DC, Shawn and me knew just what to do. We packed up the Rambler (provisions for 4 days, ammo for a year, no masks) and set our course to the Trump Hotel in DC. Of course the double rooms were sold out and we would not sleep in a king size bed together so we slept in the Rambler like the old days.
On the morning of the greatest act of unAmerican communism by Nancy, Shawn and I held hands and showed our support for the President, even for his small ugly attorney and his son, who Shawn thinks is a moocher. I disagree. #DTJ2024. Upon commencement from our great Leader, we marched with the patriots toward the Capitel.
At this point, there was much patriotism flowing. It was reaching possibly the greatest patriotism level since 1776. You could feel it in your skin and I had goose pimples.
We reached the Capitel. This is when the violence began. Communist police denied our entry to execute our warrant signed by the Pres. Many were angry, especially the Proud Boy. They screamed so loud and their patriotism was amazing.
Shawn and me stepped near the Proud Boy and yelled “MOVE COMMUNIST” to the cop and he screamed “GET BACK YOU FUCKING IDIOT.”
Though I took offense to his cusses, we would not let this hurt us so Shawn deployed his pepper juice and sprayed the commie until he was soaked. Upon this great act of patriotism, the proud boy screeched with such magnitude the crowd pushed forth upon its mission.
Yes. You may have seen the news. The patriots retook the Capitel. While Proud Boy and the Viking (a man now famous on IG) attempted to kill and maim all congressers, Shawn and me powwowed and thought “Nancy is probably in her office under her desk in her dumb little safe space.” So we headed straight there. Took some pics. Lost my phone so I don’t have them.
As we approached Nancy’s office, Shawn slipped. Yes, he was wearing no slip boots made for combat. How did this happen you might ask? Well, a fellow patriot (probably ANTIFA in disguise) peed upon the hall. Shawn slipped and hit his head on a George Washington statue and fell unconscious.
He was a fallen comrade but I had to continue the Gracious Patriot Iron mission. I stalked the halls, saw an incredible patriot woman become shot, her boiling patriot blood sprayed upon my cheeks. I held strong and moved forward running into a strange man with Nancy’s podium. “Where Nancy’s office?” I exclaimed. He cackled at me and ran away.
So I continued down halls of screaming Proud Boy and commie police. I maintained patriotism and dignity as I slid through the wings of all that is great.
I landed upon Nancy’s office. I entered, finding no Nancy. In fact, patriots before me had already been in the office. I sat at her desk and cried. This was the Gracious Patriot Iron mission. It was already complete.
I heard a voice. It was commie police coming down the hall. I tried to hide like Nancy would when there was a loud bang in the room. My eyes were blinded and suddenly I cried not because of a loss of freedom but because of a chemical juice in my eyes. A commie I couldn’t see slammed me upon Nancy’s desk, handcuffed me and let me go about 45 minutes later after telling me I was “fucking moron, asshole, imbecile, and unAmerican.” That’s right, no one called me a patriot.
I later found Shawn at the Rambler. After taking one week to reflect upon our mistreatment, we have decided to sue Nancy and other communists. We need your help.
We think it would be good to sue Nancy first for always talking bad to Pres Trump. Her unwillingness to be a patriot caused so much harm. We would not have thought to kill her if she had not done such this. Therefore we would not have stormed the Capitel if she was nicer to Pres Trump.
We want to sue the Capitel Police. They called us terrible, terrible names no one would ever say in front of their daughters. Yet, these words were said to great patriots. This is class action on behalf of all patriots. Many of us feel harmed by this. This is the real money maker for you, Stein.
ANTIFA. Shawn saw a doctor and the doctor said he got a concussion from his fall. The ANTIFA man who peed upon the Capitel hall was the reason Shawn slipped and as such he shall be sued. I’m sure you can find his name. You are a lawyer of course.
Congress janitors. They should have cleaned the pee and put out yellow 'floor wet' signs. This is a no brainer.
The Viking man. While he seems very nice, his outfit made us look like Burning Man people. PATRIOTS DON'T GO TO BURNING MAN. Everyone knows that. They have JOBS. They can't just take off from work to do that. This is a slander of the worst kind.
Capitel front desk. No lost and found. Never got my phone back. Was a Samsung ($650 on ebay). Loss of lifehood here since I can't post to my IG.
Commie police again. When the flash daddy went off in Nancy's room, my eyes were blinded by a great white light the likes of which most never see until their ascension to heaven. My right eye is currently blinded. My left not so much. This is a loss of eyesight and a grievous offense.
Honorable Stein, I realize this is the most important email you may have ever received. You may take your time to respond. Shawn and me do hope you will be just with your fees (possibly do it no bono) because of the great urgency and patriotism flowing through the matter. We are happy to negotiate a fee out of our legal winnings as they may be very big.
Sincerely, good patriots of yours in Trump,
Richard Bennett and Shawn Rabalais